See, I'm not THAT pro after all..

I baked today.
The macarons turned out okay but the chocolate chip cookies, not so much.
Let's just say mega fail is an understatement..

Macaron!
Strawberry with white chocolate.

Failed Chocolate Chip Cookies.
I don't know if you can tell but they're really spongy. Alot like sponge cake!
I know why I failed though: I wasn't intending to make them!!
It was supposed to be the filling for the macarons but they didn't come out right.
Plus they had the ingredients required for cookies so I just tweaked it to make cookies rather than throw the failed filling away. Who knew I'd end up making sponge cake :P

PS: Sorry bout the bad pictures AGAIN.

2007-2009: A Reflection

On the way to school today, I had a lot of time to ponder. I usually bring my notes to revise on the bus, but for some reason I left them at home. It's really unlike me cause I'm the kind of student who needs my notes for comfort but, I don't think it was any coincidence. I think God planned that I'd spend that time reflecting on the past two years, especially since the last few months have been so so so busy and I haven't really stopped to take a breath and reflect.

Today was significant for three reasons:
1. It's the end of As!
Two long and really tiring years of studying, all for this ONE exam. It lasted 2 weeks and 1 day and now, it's finally over. The friends I made and the moments we shared throughout this journey has made a great impact on me and who I am today. Whatever happened in the two years leading up to this exam, I have no regrets.

2. Last day of school uniforms!
12 years of wearing school uniform just flew by. It hit me as I was getting ready for school so I made sure to stop and stare at myself in the mirror for a while longer today. I was nearly brought to tears. All the times I spent in my uniforms came racing through my mind. I guess I'm sentimental that way.

3. Start of a new season
So now that my "uniform schooling" days are over, I realise that I'm stepping into a new season in my life. Change is coming and I know it's not always going to be smooth sailing and so, I'm apprehensive yet excited. The start of a new season also, obviously, signals a closure of the old season. Looking back, I see how much I've grown and I acknowledge that it was only through God's guidance that I've come this far. In fact, I wouldn't say that it's about how far I've come but how far He's brought me. An amazing journey I didn't even realise I was taking until today. The more I think about it, the more clear my journey becomes and the more I see his hand over my life. Like how he always made sure I came out triumphant from a tough situation or how his guidance lead me to do the right thing when the lines were blurred. I couldn't help but take a few moments out of this morning's hustle and bustle to thank Him for bringing me thus far. I wasn't left dry eyed.

I think this reflection is really apt since 2009 is coming to a close and this is the first time I'm making such a huge transition from protected institutionalized education to a more open environment where really, anything goes. I can't wait to embark on this new journey and see His plan unfold in my life. And as Audrey's character (can't remember her name! :/) says in Redemption Hill, "It's gonna be great!"

Think about His love, think about His goodness.
Think about His grace, that's brought us through.
For as high as the heavens above, so great is the measure of our Father's love.
Great is the measure of our Father's love.

On a lighter note, I baked! Lemon meringue cupcakes (:

PS: The picture's so cui cause I took it when night had already fallen and I couldn't find nice light. In my effort to try make it look nicer, I think I might've actually made it worse :/ And by the way, do you get my "opening poster" above! HAHA!

All I Want For Christmas Is....

A KITCHENAID!!!

I've also been thinking about what I'm going to bake once I'm done with exams (which btw, is less than 24 hours away!!!).
<---------------------- LOOK HERE for the list!
(It'll move up once I remove the A levels list. WOOTS!)

Boys and Cabbies

A few days back, Nate had prom. He and his friends stayed out all night and then some of them came over to our place to sleep. Made me wonder what it'd be like being a boy. In my opinion: Boys have more fun. I can't comprehend how boy "gangs" work but that intrigues me more.

They hang out all the time but might not necessarily talk about real life stuff. Girls start pouring their hearts out the second they feel the connection. They meet one day and are best friends the next. Girls are more comprehensive about making new best friends. They're not best of friends but they go to each others' house to stayover. Girls only stayover at their besties' places. They make each other angry but forgive each other the second the situation is over. Girls like to stay in the "moment", sometimes we never get out.

I asked Nate once "Do your friends know about mummy?" He replied "Ummmm. I don't know?" How do you not know?! Beats me.

Another thing I really like about boy gangs: They don't plan! Sure, sometimes it gets irritating when they stand around and not know what to do or where to go but the fact that they're so chill and have that "I'll come whenever I'm ready" attitude, makes me forgive them for being so fickle and indecisive sometimes. (I know I contradict myself here, but some days, I like to chill and not spend it worrying about how I'm gonna get from one meeting to another on time. Other days, I get a major adrenaline rush from rushing from place to place.)

I guess it probably seems more interesting to be a boy cause I'm not a boy. You know, like how we always wonder what it's like to experience something and when you finally get to experience it, you conclude that it wasn't that great after all.

*

Then today, in a cab, on our way back from brunch, dad started a conversation with the cabby. They talked about interestingly designed buildings, religion and then finally about jobs. This cabby used to be a GM in a big Japanese Company and then he got sent overseas for 4 years to fill some other managerial position. But when he came back to Singapore, he couldn't get a job. He said employers discriminated cause he's Malay, can't speak Chinese and is asking for too much pay. Now he works as a taxi driver, been working for only 11 months and only so that he can support his family who stays in KL. His wife comes back for a week every month cause other times she's in KL taking care of his grandchildren. And he only travels up to visit them for 3-4 days in a month. He wears Emporio Armani glasses and talks about visiting all these cool places in Europe which means he used to live a pretty comfortable lifestyle and then he said this, which really hit me "Driving a cab is not a job, it's survival".

Conversations like that really bring you back down to earth. It reminds you that sometimes, it's okay to forget about trying to live the lavished life and just be thankful for family, friends, a decent roof over your head, the ability to have three meals a day, go to school and the privilege to serve a God who loves you more than you can comprehend.

*

I guess what these two things have in common is the fact that, no matter what/who you want to be or wish you were, we should all be thankful for being made me.

GOODBYE OPRAH

Oprah's ending her daytime show in 2011.

If you don't already know this, I LOVE watching Oprah. Yea, I'm guessing some of you think it's a trashy show and while it may be true that she plays on emotions sometimes, I still think she has the most awesome daytime show.
I learn so so much from her shows: life, health, fashion, helping others, politics... You name it, she's probably had a show about it before. Not that I take her word for everything but in my opinion, she does live by some pretty good philosophies. Plus, she interviews very different people from all walks of life and I think it really opens up your mind to the endless possibilities that life can bring. And I love that even after all these years, she still cries while interviewing some people and she still struggles with her weight. It just makes it seem so real. I mean, you'd think that she would've gotten used to hearing all these sad stories. It's definitely going to be one less good TV show to watch. At least I'll have another 3 years left to watch her show since new episodes don't air in Singapore till almost a year later.

This Christmas...

CHINESE FAIL

And so, we all know what I'm referring to.
If not, watch the video!


Bilingualism policy was wrong

So anyway, he says "We insisted on ting xie (spelling), me xie (dictation), madness! We had teachers who were teaching in completely Chinese schools and were not allowed to use any English to teach English speaking children, Chinese. Turned them off completely!"

Even though I'm done with formal Chinese education, having been through the struggle with this language beckons me to say something about it. Coming from a completely English speaking family and school, I must say that the quote above is extremely relevant. And while I am happy that MM Lee has finally seen the detrimental effects of drilling us with a compulsory second language, especially Chinese, I'm also very humbled by him coming out and speaking so bluntly about it. Takes alot for a man who's said to have all this vision to come out and apologize for messing up. I must also say that while studying Chinese was darn difficult, it has been very useful, especially the spoken language, not so much the written though. And who can forget the times when the class bonded over a Chinese teacher bullying session also known as the Chinese period :P I'm sure everyone has had his/her own story of their struggle with Chinese but, whatever it is, Singapore is hopeful the new changes which focus on helping children like the language instead of just forcing them to learn it will bring a new era of Chinese speaking Singaporean children who no longer hate the language or make jokes out of the teachers. Can't wait to see that day. Learning Chinese in Singapore will no longer be learning Chinese in Singapore, if you get what I mean..

What's In Your Daily Cuppa Coffee?

Saw this on a food blog. Thought it was really interesting and some parts are gross at the same time. Reminds me that I should slowly start staying off coffee since I've been having 2 cups a day during this exam period, an extra cup since I started drinking it when I was 14 <- can you believe it!? I think my teeth are turning yellow from it :/


Caffeine
This is why the world produces more than 16 billion pounds of coffee beans per year. It's actually an alkaloid plant toxin (like nicotine and cocaine), a bug killer that stimulates us by blocking neuroreceptors for the sleep chemical adenosine. The result: you, awake.

Water
Hot H2O is a super solvent, leaching flavors and oils out of the coffee bean. A good cup of joe is 98.75 percent water and 1.25 percent soluble plant matter. Caffeine is a diuretic, so coffee newbies pee out the water quickly; java junkies build up resistance (I think I belong here :/)

2-Ethylphenol (I know how to draw this after all that Chemistry! WHOO!)
Creates a tarlike, medicinal odor in your morning wake-up. It's also a component of cockroach alarm pheromones (??!!), chemical signals that warn the colony of danger.

Quinic acid
Gives coffee its slightly sour flavor. On the plus side, it's one of the starter chemicals in the formulation of Tamiflu.

3,5 Dicaffeoylquinic acid
When scientists pretreat neurons with this acid in the lab, the cells are significantly (though not completely) protected from free-radical damage. Yup: Coffee is a good source of antioxidants.

Dimethyl disulfide
A product of roasting the green coffee bean, this compound is just at the threshold of detectability in brewed java. Good thing, too, as it's one of the compounds that gives human feces its odor.

Acetylmethylcarbinol
That rich, buttery taste in your daily jolt comes in part from this flammable yellow liquid, which helps give real butter its flavor and is a component of artificial flavoring in microwave popcorn.

Putrescine
Ever wonder what makes spoiled meat so poisonous? Here you go. Ptomaines like putrescine are produced when E. coli bacteria in the meat break down amino acids. Naturally present in coffee beans, it smells, as you might guess from the name, like Satan's outhouse.

Trigonelline
Chemically, it's a molecule of niacin with a methyl group attached. It breaks down into pyridines, which give coffee its sweet, earthy taste and also prevent the tooth-eating bacterium Streptococcus mutans from attaching to your teeth. Coffee fights the Cavity Creeps.

Niacin
Trigonelline is unstable above 160 degrees F; the methyl group detaches, unleashing the niacin—vitamin B3—into your cup. Two or three espressos can provide half your recommended daily allowance.

--WIRED Magazine

illustrated

Saw these on designsponge.
They're just two parts of a whole illustrated recipe. I super like it! I want to learn how to do it. Is it adobe illustrator? But how to draw so nicely on a computer! I know they've those electronic drawing pad thingys but even then, this is still very impressive. Look at the detail on the fork!

"Life happens"

I don't like the phrase "life happens/happened" when it is used to describe how someone has lost zeal and passion for life. I don't like it cause it's based on the assumption that life is supposed to get monotonous and routine. I don't like it cause there's so much to look forward to and so much to do and I don't think that growing older and having more responsibilities should stop you from doing what you like.

Okay, maybe you're in a job that you're really beginning to hate or maybe the stress from the family is getting to you, that still doesn't give you reason to not do what makes you feel most alive. Blaming the kids or work for taking up most of your time is nonsense. I think after your kids get to a certain age, you should let them start living for themselves and you start living for you. It's been what I've been trying to get across to my dad for a long while. He's beginning to get it now and everything at home seems so much better. Less fighting, less awkward silence, less walk-away-rolling-eyes moments. It doesn't mean he loves or cares for us any less. It just means he's learnt to trust God and let go and start to live his life.

If you're a parent or a grown up, there's a high chance you'll disagree with me, but whatever it is, I want to live my life this way. No harm dreaming big right? I get so excited every time I think about what I'm going to do after the A levels and after Uni and once I start working and start a family (: I can't wait to grow up. Which is why I hope God doesn't come too soon. I WANT TO GROW OLD, GOD! YOU CAN COME WHEN I'M 60 (: Not that everything goes downhill when you're 60 but at least I would've lived most of my life by then..

So, starting small, a list of what I want to do during my super long break:

Work
Some of my friends applied for relief teaching but I was thinking Island Creamery cause it's near home and has flexible hours which means I still get to sell baked stuff online. And I get to interact with people and make their day by serving ice cream with an extra big smile (: Prolly won't get much pay but I don't really think I'm working for money. Just to pass time and since it comes with monetary incentives, so be it!

Sell baked stuff!
Bake, bake, bake! Do I really need to elaborate?

Go on a mission trip
I was thinking Ubon to help Uncle Joshua or something.

Learn to drive!
Maybe if I stay in Singapore for Uni, dad will buy me a car? :P We'll see..

Get fit
G and I plan to join a run next year.

Visit my grandparents more
Maybe pick up some cooking skills from my Peranakan grandma along the way (:

Help out
While reading an essay on poverty, I was really motivated to do something helpful. There're so many people in need. Was thinking of offering my services at a hospice? I can't do anything medical though :/ Maybe I should just stick to babysitting or something :P

Try out all these DIY projects I've been thinking about
Tie-dye t-shirts, cupcake liners... I'm a real DIY girl on the inside. I used to read all these girly DIY books (how to make you're own lipgloss, plan a party, turn old jeans into a bag, etc.) when I was younger. HURRR :P

Catch up with people
G booked me for the 25th already. Haha, she's so much of a planner.

Travel
Maybe head to Malaysia with Aunt KS or something. Might be having a family vacation too.

So many more things.
Just basically don't want to spend any waking moment of my life doing nothing.

reasons to celebrate

Note: After every reason, I would appreciate if you join me in a wild wolf cry (:

1. WEEK ONE IS OVER!
It's amazing how much exams can take away from you -- Sleep, Health, Time with family and friend and Hobbies <-- we all know which hobby I'm referring to here :P So, since the first week is over, here's to celebrating the fact that we are ONE WEEK closer to getting our lives back! (:

Together: WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

2. I don't ever have to do math again! EVERRRRRRRRR.
Unless I crazily choose some math related course/module in Uni. Please stop me if you find out. Even if violent intervention is required, JUST.STOP.ME.
Okay, another reason to why we should Thank God It's (an awesome) Friday (:

Together: WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

disappointment lingers but i must continue to TRUST

i'm upset about today's paper
i need a miracle

i was so careless ):


i calculated.
if i still want to get my A,
i need
50/60 for paper 2,
30/40 for mcq,
and this is with the assumption that i got full marks for my practical
and that an A grade still stands at 75 marks.
if the bell curve shifts, its overrrrrrrrrrrr.



aiyerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
*&#$(*^$(*#&)!(@*


i think it comes with no coincidence that before every hard paper
(ie. tuesday's math paper and today's chem paper),
God used someone to remind me to trust Him.

it's just hard to reach that state where your mind is totally at rest and you stop crying over spilt milk and you don't worry cause you know He's in control.


i need you, i trust your hand
i need you, i'm not afraid

the all elusive development diamond

A development diamond, similar to the one below except a little more complicated and with different headings came out for today's Geography paper.


Questions asked were,
1) Which indicator deviates least from the low income group?
2) Which indicator deviates most from the low income group?

My reaction when I saw it, "SIMI LAI EHHHH?!?!?! HOW I KNOW?!?!?!"
Am I supposed to read the distance from one diamond to the other diamond? Or the distance from the diamond to the end of the line near the headings? HOW I KNOW?!
And this was just ONE of the many stunner questions in today's paper. Oh well, at least it's over right?

Cambridge is quite the unexpected type.

Tomorrow is Math Paper 1, the PURE math paper.
Mr Math and I have zero affinity for each other, so help me God.

LOVE

Saw this when I signed into Facebook this morning. HAHA!

Mediocrity.

I think what I'm most afraid of is a repeat of my O levels.
That "you did okay but it's not what you wanted" feeling.
Like how I got four A2 grades.
Imagine if I worked just a bit harder then I would've gotten four A1 grades which would've pushed my mediocre 12 points to 8 points.
What a world of difference.
For the O levels I wanted to get into AC but I didn't, I got into CJ
(no regrets about it though)
For the A levels, I want to go to NUS but what if I don't make it.

I'm so scared of letting myself down again.
I'm so scared of getting that "okay" grade again.
That worries me more than the fact that I've to complete the whole A level syllabus.

I know the A levels is such a small hurdle compared to what I'm gonna face later down the road.
And when I look back, I'm probably gonna think
"You were so silly for letting that worry you".
But for now, it's what matters most.
I need to push myself more than I ever have before and I have less than 48 hours.

yellow yellow dirty fellow

Still want to get your flu jabs?

Disclaimer:
I'm not sure if the jab she took is the same jab Singapore is offering but it sure is scary enough to make me think twice.

This Goes Out To Anyone Who Oversleeps On A Regular Basis.

Saw this on a friend's tinyurl.


"Weird Alarm Clocks That Can Wake The Dead"
www.healthkicker.com

1. Clocky alarm clock: This alarm clocks has two small wheels on each side. It runs and hides when you don’t wake up!! It works just like another normal alarm clock, but “if you hit the snooze button it jumps right off the night stand and cruises around your bedroom finding a place to hide. It can actually jump 3 feet! One it stops running, the alarm goes off and continues to blare till you get out of bed, find the alarm clock and shut it off.”



2. Puzzle alarm clock: “This clock shoots four pieces of a puzzle into the air when it goes off. In order to silence the alarm, you have to reassemble the puzzle on top of the alarm clock.”


3. Flying alarm clock: “The dratted propeller driven module of the flying Alarm Clock actually spins of the base unit each time the alarm goes off. The catch is, the noisy alarm won't turn off until you retrieve the propeller and place it back on the base. This means you have to get out of bed and search for the pesky propeller which may have landed anywhere.”

4. Sonic Bomb Clock: This "has an adjustable volume alarm with a maximum loudness of 113 decibels ( which is the equivalent of a power saw right next to your ear). If that's not enough to wake you up, you can also slip the bed shaker that comes with the alarm clock under your mattress to get you rocking early in the morning! If you have a penchant for more punishment, you can always hit the snooze button to repeat this torturous cycle of noise and discomfort.”

5. Carpet alarm clock: “In order to turn it off, you have to get up and step on it. If you really want to make it a challenge, place it far away from your bed.”

6. Shape up alarm clock: "This dumbbell-style alarm clock wants to start your day off right! Just set the alarm and in the morning it will buzz until you’ve done 30 reps."

I think the dumbbell and puzzle ones are the funniest!

It better not be STRIKE THREE

What do you do when someone asks for help and you agree, and to some extent want, to help and even make sacrifices to help but then he disappoints you twice. First, he totally doesn't show up. No sms, nothing. Leaving you and your massively heavy school bag (cause you brought material to teach him) stranded in the canteen. And the second time, he's 1.5 hrs late. At least this time the meeting place is near home so him being late just means you spent a whole of 1.5 hours doing nothing productive even though the major exam is ONE WEEK away. You decide you're not going to help him anymore cause you've your own problems and your own studying to do but then he starts begging. He doesn't even become nasty about it, instead, he says he's sorry to have wasted your time and understands the predicament you're in.

WHAT should/would/do YOU DO?

By now you would've guessed that this happened to me. It's not like it was easy for me to turn him down after he blew me off the second time but I just felt like I had to. I mean, he made lame excuses! Like the first time he said "Oh, I got carried away" when you find out from his friends that actually, he decided to go home to shower so he could go out later that night. Then the second time he says "I had a late night". I HAD A LATE NIGHT TOO BUT I WOKE UP!?!?! You see why I turned him down? Plus, I didn't want to waste anymore of my precious time. I felt really bad though. I know he really needs help but he doesn't seem serious about it even though he claims he is. So, to give him a third chance, or not?

In deciding what I should do, I asked myself "What Would Jesus Do?" I know He would've given him another chance but then again Jesus also has a limit to the amount of chances He gives us. When He returns and you haven't made your decision to follow Him, I guess there goes your chance. Yet at the same time, he tells us to forgive, forgive, forgive.

Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

So, I made my choice. Give him a third chance. He doesn't get a choice as to location or time, unlike the other 2 times, but it's still a chance.

It better not be strike three.

so stresssszxzxzxz

I was put into some "potential distinction for chemistry" enrichment class last year. I still remember receiving that golden organic chem booklet (It was really just yellow paper but the teachers call it golden. Haha!) I was secretly so proud of myself..
But, ever since then, I haven't been doing well for chem.
My chem teacher, however, hasn't given up on me.
In fact, she just sent an email to say she wants to give the potential distinction students consultation and I happened to be in that group even though I've disappointed her time and time again...

It so so so stressful to have that expectation to live up to.
I remember blogging about wanting to do this for myself but even then, I really cannot let her down!

SHINGZ.